PARKINSON’S AFTER DARK · FRIDAY · DF041

Thank You for Calling Parkinson’s. Your Symptom Is Very Important to Us.

September 25, 2026Parkinson’s, Healthcare Systems & Dark Humor8 min read

Please remain on the line while your tremor, fatigue, bladder, mood, blood pressure and swallowing problem are transferred to six different departments.

Thank you for calling Parkinson’s. Your symptom is very important to us. Unfortunately, it belongs to another department.

For tremor, press one. For constipation, press two very slowly. For dizziness when you stand, please stand by. For fatigue, remain on the line until you no longer have the energy to explain why you called. If your problem involves mood, sleep, speech, swallowing, pain, bladder function or thinking, listen carefully because our menu has recently changed and so has your body.